I welcome myself back to blogspot. and decide to rage.

Hi there.
Life has been crazy these few weeks. Well for me anyways. I don't want to sound all self-absorbed when I'm typing my blogs, but blogs are like, kinda meant to be about you aren't they? Hmmm. Tell me if I'm wrong.

Well, it's time to rage.
OK. Let's get one thing straight before people decide to talk to me about my blogs, after they finish reading it. Previously, people thought that my blogs were about them and they got all pissed. So, before you talk to me about my blogs, be 100% sure that it's about you before you start to rage at me.

These past three weeks, I've been getting THE crappiest rest, but for you, it's worth it. As you know my condition, I have to get enough rest or else it'll deteriorate drastically. Everything's spiralled out of control in my life. I feel like I've lost touch with you. To admit, I'm a little jealous of her. Yes. There. I said it. I'm jealous of her. But I guess karma has hit me now...Back when we were young, I kinda did the same thing to her. So now it's given me a slap in my face. I'm insecure about us, and where we're at right now. I feel like I don't even know you that well anymore. We've gone through so much, I feel like I'm losing you more and more each day. All I need is some reassurance that we'll stay like this forever. <3 Yeah. I know. I sound like some sopping, wet puppy dog that you have to drag around. Constantly.

I wake up thinking and worrying about you. I go to bed constantly thinking and worrying about you. When I used to think about you, it made me calm. But these few weeks, I think I've started to get wrinkles from the brow creasing I get over you.

Way to start off year 12. One of the most crucial years of our education. Everything's depressing. I've been trying to act 'normal'. It's polished off quite well don't you think? These few years, the way I've acted around people isn't even the real me..

I've been like a third wheel to everyone these few weeks. I avoid life when I'm without you. (NTS-grace, stop making this sound like it's about a guy...). seriously. Just fuck everything. That's been my motto for these recent weeks.

Did you know, you're the one person that I can't read? Your personality. Your reactions. I can't predict them, like I can with everyone else's.  That's what I REALLY love about you. You make life joyous. And worthwhile for me.

Enough with the depression.
Fuck this.